your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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