O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we're making bets on your personal life
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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