that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
