Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
