haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
