Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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