dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
