I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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