I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
