we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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