He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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