What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
