and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
