you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
