took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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