i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
