is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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