your room smells of hookers.
And success
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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