What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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