Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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