No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
