You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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