): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
