Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
