So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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