I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
