eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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