All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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