So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
