Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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