one might say we're banned from that church
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
