You made me cry and you don't even care
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
