I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
