A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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