went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
