Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The air taste purple.
Randomize
