We're like a lot better than the average bears
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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