Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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