I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
