quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Did I show you my penis last night?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I love you. Go after that dick
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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