So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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