is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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