no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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