awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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