yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
