Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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