am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
