Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
