just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
