If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
did you just send me my own nude
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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